My life the last few weeks has been somewhat of a hot mess and I just want to write my honest feelings down in hopes that someone will understand or that it might help someone in some way.

While on vacation in Oregon to see family and friends, I got that call that no one wants to receive. And no, it isn't the call that someone has passed away. It's the call that someone is about to pass away. The timeline call. And the timeline given to me last Thursday was 'less than a week.'

When you get the call that someone has passed away then you immediately go into the grieving season of life. It's real and you have to deal with it because it is final. But when you are told that someone you love and adore is going to pass away... It's different. You immediately start what I call "pre-grieving." All the emotions of death but before the person is actually gone.

My whole family headed to Louisiana to be with my grandpa. And how lucky we all were to be there when he passed. Most people don't get that opportunity. And even though it hurts like hell, it is worth it. Surrounded by loved ones who loved your love one just as much as you. It's comforting.

My grandpa Hylton was my last grandparent. I've had the pleasure of having relationships with all my grandparents well into my 20s. To still have a grandparent at almost 30-years-old is uncommon. Losing your last grandparent is tough. Losing all of them was tough but the last one closes the end of some sort of era. He was 92. YEAH! 92-years-old. He lived a very full and long life and I can't be sad about that but I'm sad about what it brings. Not calling and chatting. Not going to visit. Not getting Christmas cards. That's the end that's hard.

I already miss him. And it hurts my heart even more knowing that my Dad is grieving the loss of his last parent and Dad.

Death is never easy but it is something everyone will face and this gives me new purpose. To live life to the fullest - as everyone says. To really look at my life and find what is MOST important and pursue those things. Life goes by so fast and I don't want to waste it on dumb and ridiculous things. I want to look back at 92 and say 'what a good life.'  A good life with love and family.

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