An Open Letter to Abusers and Their Victims

Dear Abuser,

I have contemplated writing this letter to you, as I am still stunned and angry by what has transpired in the last few months. I don’t know what makes you do the things you do or if you even know why you are the way you are or if you even care. I have seen the pain that you have inflicted on people, both mentally and physically. I have tried to understand why you could do such horrific things and not seem to care. I gave you the benefit of the doubt for so many years, as I never knew the extent of your rage and destruction because all of your victims stayed silent and didn’t let on that they lived in fear of you. They didn’t report you and they were very good at hiding both their mental and physical scars and bruises. I guess I am as guilty as anyone for not seeing the signs of abuse, but my eyes have been opened and my heart shattered by what you’ve done and who’ve you hurt.

I heard you plead your case in front of the judge, asking for a second chance, pretending that you were sorry and that you would change. I wasn’t shocked at all by what you said and how you acted, and I’m so glad the judge didn’t buy into your phony act. I know deep down in my heart that if you really wanted to change you would have many years ago and that you had several chances to change and support from your loved ones, yes, the loved ones you terrorized and abused. You will go away for a couple of years, I pray that you will use the time while you are confined to become a better person, not only for those you will be around, but for yourself.

To your victims, I have spent the last weeks thinking about you and what you must have gone through and the nightmare you lived in. I hope that as the days go by, you can start to heal. Your bruises may have healed, and perhaps you are slowly starting to deal with the mental pain. I can never begin to know what you went through and after what I’ve learned these past few weeks, I can understand why you felt you needed to stay. My hope for you moving forward is that you will never again be a victim, that you will find the strength to leave and know that you are the most important person in the relationship. I also pray that you will report the situation to someone, a loved one or law enforcement so that they can help you get out and be safe.

Sincerely:

Someone who will make it my mission to watch for signs and dig deeper when I suspect something.